American EDM superstar and former emo punk moron, Skrillex, has shocked his fans by admitting that the majority of his productions consist almost entirely of samples of cats having sex.
Skrillex, real name Sonny John Moore, has revealed that he became infatuated with the “sweet squeals and screams” of feline fornication after first hearing them as an angst ridden emo teen in his home town of Forest Hill, San Francisco.
“I still remember the first time I heard cats having sex like it was yesterday,” explained Skrillex during a recent interview with Wunderground. “It sounded so painful and full of sorrow. Naturally as an emo kid my favourite emotions were pain and sorrow so needless to say I fell in love with the sound of cats having sex straight away.”
“I knew that if I could translate the harrowing sound of kitties getting jiggy into music I’d be able to sell records,” continued the six time Grammy winner. “I tried to give an emotional representation of the sound, using pithy lyrics sang whiningly over a sombre collage of delicate harmonies with my first band, From First To Last, but unfortunately we were shit, not even cats having sex could have made us sound good.”
“So I decided to try my hand at some solo productions using different techniques and I started using actual samples of cats having sex on my tracks,” he continued. “Straight away I knew I was onto a winner. My first EP Gypsyhook was actually made entirely of cat sex samples set over bass lines which I made by banging saucepans of a dustbin.”
Skrillex also claimed that music was not the only part of his life that was influenced by the noise of cats having sex outside his bedroom window, admitting that he often “jerked it” to the spooky soundtrack.
“Cat sex became a big part of my daily masturbation routine as a teenager,” he honestly shared with Wunderground. “I’d line up a really violent scene from a movie and just wait until I heard cats having sex to press play. The combination of ultra violence and screaming cats was the perfect accompaniment for a teenaged emo guy to jerk it to. Sometimes I’d cry for hours after I’d finished, those truly were the best days of my life.”
