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NASA Confirm Calvin Harris’ Ego Now “Visible From Space”

NASA Confirm Calvin Harris’ Ego Now “Visible From Space”

Scientists from NASA’s Langley research centre have today confirmed that Calvin Harris’ ego is now visible from space.

Pat Swanson, spokesperson for NASA’s Meteorological Research Institute, made the announcement today during a seminar on atmospheric change, “Just over a month ago we noticed a strange shadow-like anomaly directly over Miami. At first we thought it was just hot air or something that would eventually blow over. It wasn’t until it started to move around in a totally unnatural way that we became concerned.”

“There is still an awful lot that we don’t know about what goes on in our atmosphere, we see things that we don’t recognise or understand all of the time. Usually they move around a little and by studying their movements we can get some sort of idea as to what they are,” he continued.

“But this was totally different, it was traveling vast distances really quickly and then stopping for periods of up to forty eight hours before moving again. It stopped at places like Ibiza, London, Sydney and New York. There was no pattern to its movements at all and we had absolutely no idea what it was or whether or not we should be worried about it,” said the perplexed meteorologist.

“In situations like this NASA call upon a special team of highly intelligent scientists called the X Men. Once they’re on board you know you’re going to get answers. They studied every aspect of it for hours on end but nobody seemed to be making any progress. Then out of nowhere, an intern mentioned something about a Youtube video from a recent Calvin Harris gig in Miami, where he had stopped the music to call out an audience member for criticising his work,” recounted Mr. Swanson.

“We noticed that the anomaly had appeared the exact same night as the gig so we decided to watch the video to see if there was anything more than coincidence between the two incidents,” he said inquisitively.

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“We couldn’t believe how much of an asshole this guy was. Stopping the music during a set, speaking of himself in the third person and being unable to take the slightest bit of criticism, these are all sure fire signs of a super inflated ego,” he claimed with authority.

“Then someone else remembered a couple of years ago when Kanye West’s ego appeared on a satellite photo, we quickly cross referenced Harris’ tour schedule with our anomaly and we had it, it was his ego all along! It was a real Eureka moment and now that we know what it is we can all go back to ignoring it,” he said enthusiastically.

Calvin Harris, pictured above pondering other people’s inadequacies, joins a prestigious group of people, including Kanye West, Julius Ceaser and Hitler, whose ego’s have grown so inflated that they became visible from space.

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