In a bizarre turn of events, Native Americans have started to wear trilby hats to traditional rainmaking festivals.
According to reports, the number of trilby hats visible at rainmaking festivals has gone from “almost none” to a “shit ton” in recent years.
Wunderground spoke to Chief Bear Shit In Woods, of the Native American Arts Council, “Two or three times every year large gatherings of Native American people meet up for our traditional rainmaking festivals. It’s a very old, deep and meaningful tradition and helps to keep the our legacy and customs alive.”
“Up until recently everyone who came to these ceremonies would wear full traditional clothing, including the headdress,” continued the chief, “but recently more and more people have been coming to our festivals wearing stupid whiteman hats instead of their normal headdresses. I really don’t know why, our headgear is really cool while those whiteman hats are so boring and stupid looking.”
According to anthropologist Jean Busybody, the current trend of Native Americans wearing trilbys to traditional festivals is a direct response to white people wearing Native American headdresses to music festivals. However, according to Butch Rolls With A Spliff, a Native American and trilby wearer, the reason is down to comfort and fashion.
“I always wear a trilby,” claimed Butch. “It’s got nothing to do with white people wearing headdresses, I wear it because it’s badass and it keeps my head warm. Headdresses are kind of cool, in a traditional way, but you’re not going to wear one to a nightclub on a Saturday night.”
“The only reason anyone even goes to those rainmaking festivals is for the afterparty anyway, it’s not like we’re actually going to make it rain, that’s what chemtrails are for,” he continued. “It’s all about getting fucked up with some beers, a couple of spliffs and hopefully a roll in the prairie with a squaw.”
