News emerging from the Netherlands today suggests that the latest crop of DJs is nearly ready to be harvested.
Farm owner and the Netherland’s leading DJ grower Albert Aaldenburg has been cultivating his current crop for the last nine months and believes he could be onto one of his most fruitful harvests ever.
“I’m very excited about my current crop of DJs,” claimed Albert earlier. “I’m predicting that at least seventy five percent of them will go on to be internationally recognised DJs so it’s an exciting time for all of us here on the farm.”
“These current DJs I’m growing are house DJs,” continued the farmer. “They’re quite difficult to grow, they take about a year to fully mature and need a lot of attention and around the clock maintenance. Not like EDM DJs, you can grow them from seeds in a couple of weeks. You just stick them in the ground, water them and cover them in horse shit, then, three weeks later, you’ve got an EDM DJ that you can sell to any of the big labels like Spinnin’ Records and Armada Music. There’s good money in it but I like to grow a quality product so I tend to stay away from them.”
Mr. Aaldenburg gained recognition by growing trance and techno DJs during the early 90s and is the man responsible for growing some of the world’s most respected artists including Sander Kleinenberg and Speedy J.
“My big break as a DJ farmer came around 1994,” revealed Mr. Aaldenburg. “I grew this one DJ, he was nothing to look at, a bit Frankensteiney with an abnormally big head if I’m being perfectly honest. I was just about to put him to work as a scarecrow in one of my fields but I seen something in him, a sparkle in his eye, so I decided to give him a chance.”
“I named him Tiësto, which means flowerpot in Spanish, and the rest is history.”
According to reports from the Netherlands, Mr. Aaldenburg’s latest crop could yield as many as five, or even six, successful DJs with representatives from a number of respected labels already showing interest in the near ripe DJs.