A recently released EDM track has been removed from the airwaves after being repeatedly mistaken for a “really long fart”.
The track, by Australian EDM duo Baby Eaters, has been simultaneously described as a “prolonged and squelchy brown-sound” and “better than 90% of the output by EDM shit-eaters like Steve Aoki and The Chainsmokers”.
“The only thing that distinguishes it from an actual fart is that it has a squealed vocal over the top of it and manages to sound more disgusting and lifeless than an actual human fart,” claimed one listener who describes himself as having been “subjected” to the track at a spinning class. “It’s actually less musical than a real fart and probably took as much effort to make.”
Another observer, who found the track mistakenly in the deep house section of Beatport, claims that he attempted to dance to the “track” but could only manage a series of non-rhythmic jerking motions before giving up and dancing to the sound of his actual farts.
“I heard it come on the radio and thought there was something wrong with the signal but apparently it was music,” claimed one person.
“The only possible use of this track would be for a person to play it when they wanted to mask the sound of their own farts,” claimed another. “The noise coming from your bumhole and this song are indistinguishable.”
The band have spoken out against the track’s comparison to human gas excretion insisting that they “followed all the guidelines for making an EDM track that are outlined in online tutorials” and that the track is actually a new genre “flubstep”.
This isn’t the first EDM track to be mistaken for bum gas as last year Skrillex’s track Bangarang was routinely confused with the aperture widening squeaks that produce every fart in existence.
“I heard my son playing it in his room and thought that he was having some kind of gastrointestinal nightmare,” claimed one father who bought the track on the recommendation of a glowing EDMTunes review. “I fully expected to enter the room and find my son writhing in a pool of watery brown effluent, clutching his stomach and crying.”
“He was crying but the pain he felt was aesthetic and emotional, rather than physical,” continued the concerned parent. “When I turned the track off he embraced me for the first time in years and promised to never listen to EDM again, which I’m considering.”
It is not known at this time if the track actually causes people to spontaneously defecate but experts are warning people not to listen to it lest they get mistaken for someone suffering a loud anal prolapse or a candy wearing EDM apologist with no discernment or taste.
“It’s the sort of sound that if you could see it, it would have an anemic brown tinge and emit boiling wafts of hot shit smelling musk,” he added. “So it’s quite at home in the canon of EDM released since 2009.”
