A new London based deep house label, Strictly Come Dance Inc., has made the business savvy move of incorporating the word “strictly” into their brand name “so that people know it’s legit”, according to the owners.
“You see labels popping up all the time without even using the word ‘strictly’ in their name so it’s hard to tell immediately if they’re really committed to providing punters with a strictly credible and discerning experience of whatever genre they’ve decided to arbitrarily specialise in,” claimed label owner, 19-year-old Paul Gillen from London from behind a face full of aviator shades and sculpted moustache. “We’ve also got the word dance in ours as well, just for extra street cache.”
“At least now, with having the word strictly in our name, people won’t think that we’re anything other than a dyed in the wool, old school, discerning group committed to the scene and not some lads in their early 20s jumping on a bandwagon,” he continued. “I don’t really know much about running a label or putting on nights but with strictly in our name, I don’t think any of that matters.”
When presented with the new name for the label, random members of the public were heard to offer responses like “wow, they must be serious” and thinking that “the owners obviously have an in-depth knowledge of the music scene and I’ll trust them to book top acts, put on good nights and release decent records”.
“No-one’s going to just use the word strictly in the name of their label or club if they weren’t proper legit,” added the contributor who claimed that some other ways that you can tell a label if a label is good include “switching the hard ‘c’ for a ‘k’, replacing letters in their names for numbers like Mau5trap, and using puns like Ed Banger”.
Paul claimed that Strictly Come Dance Inc. don’t really have a specific cultural ethos about what the club should be, preferring instead to just “pack people in and play some random chart deep house” and use the word “strictly so that people think there’s a credible concept behind the night”.
“I’ve been listening to strictly deep house for the last two months now so I think I know my shit and have every right to announce my well earned pedigree via having strictly in my club name,” explained Paul. “For the music I’ll be banning anything that doesn’t sound like it was produced by Hot Since 82 from the back of a yacht in Ibiza, while lads with full sleeve tats share ket with bun-haired girls and everyone agrees with each other about everything and is the same.”
“So, not a lot.”
