A new super strength brand of cider, called Devil’s Piss, which actually puts hairs on a human’s chest is set for mainstream release this week by multinational alcoholic beverages company Diageo.
The cider, which weighs in at an impressive 18.4% vol., is set to take the British and Irish market by storm after a secret launch party held under a bridge in Glasgow last week was declared a massive success.
Micky Taylor, a full time booze hound, attended the launch party, here’s what he had to say about the cider, “Eye it’s fucking brilliant that stuff, makes you forget about your problems from the very first sip, it’s even better than Buckfast.”
The cider, labeled the best thing since actual bread, will retail at around seven euros a flagon and will be made from “all the bits of apple that fall off the conveyor belt at the cider factory” according a Diageo press release.
Peter Bellsley, a spokesperson for Diageo, predicts big things for Devil’s Piss, “We’re really expecting a bright future for Devil’s Piss, we’re looking at a new major player in the cider industry.”
Mr. Bellsley believes the cider will sell best amongst “teenage boys looking to prematurely having hairs on their chest” and “homeless winos looking to soften the blow of their pitiful existence and insulate for winter”.
Mr. Bellsley also encouraged responsible drinking of Devil’s Piss by stating that, “It’s not for your Sunday afternoon beer garden cider over ice drinker. It’s hardcore and it’s really going to sort the men from the boys. Only it’ll be much harder to tell who’s actually a man and who’s actually a boy because they’ll all have hairy chests.”
