Nicki Minaj’s Ass Becomes Self-Aware, Starts DJ Career

Pop singer Nicki Minaj’s world famous ass has become sentient and today announced that it is set for an unlikely career as a DJ.

Minaj’s posterior is said to have out grown its host during the summer of 2014 and has since been exploring different avenues for a solo career. It is believed that the emergence of Paris Hilton as a “reputable” DJ inspired the rump, known to friends as Wobbly, to take up DJing.

Wunderground spoke to Wobbly about her upcoming career move, “It was during a gig in Miami last July when I realised that being a celebrity’s ass wasn’t the career I wanted.”

“Nicki was doing her usual routine, shaking me around the stage, when I thought to myself ‘I have so much more to offer than this,'” claimed Miss. Minaj’s butt. “I really want to make my own way in this world, I don’t want to be kept or sit around like a bum my whole life,” claimed the talking booty. “Also, I’m arguably more famous than Nicki herself, and cleaner.”

“I had considered trying to write a book, but I can only barely write when I stick a pen between my cheeks and even then it’s barely legible as anything more than a slightly musty scribble so I looked for something easier,” explained the rear end. “When I heard Paris Hilton was DJing in Ibiza I knew that that was something I could do. We’re quite similarly talented, I’m a giant ass, she’s a giant asshole, so it was quite an easy decision to make.”

“Apart from Paris Hilton, I’d say the DJ who I’m most like is definitely DJ Sneak,” offered Wobbly. “We’re both big and round and totally full of shit.”

News of Minaj’s ass’s announcement comes just days after David Beckham announced that he is to embark on a career in DJing. It now seems that any celebrity or indeed any part of a celebrity’s anatomy is guaranteed success in the EDM industry.

Rumours of other celebrity’s body parts taking up DJing are already rife on social media sites, with reports already indicating that John Travolta’s chin and Ron Jeremy’s cock are set to play back to back at next years Electric Daisy Carnival festival.

However, rumours that Calvin Harris has been training Andy Murray’s personality in the art of DJing have proved to be false after it emerged that the Scotsman’s personality was in fact nonexistent.