In a shocking plot twist from the world of electronic music, Nigerian born DJ Nicole Moudaber has sensationally been revealed as Slash from Guns N’ Roses.
The news broke early this morning after Moudaber accidentally picked up an electric guitar and started “shredding” You Could Be Mine instead of playing a techno set at a private party.
“I don’t know what came over me,” claimed Moudaber earlier. “I haven’t been Slash for two decades and then, I have two beers and a couple of sniffs of ket and I completely forget who I’ve been for the last twenty years. I’m kind of glad though, I’ve been carrying this burden around with me and it’s nice to finally have it lifted off my shoulders.”
Slash, who has not been seen in public since heavy rainfall in November 1996 caused his hair to lose volume and hang normally around his shoulders, is believed to have been unceremoniously kicked out of Guns N’ Roses for suggesting the band abandon their rock sound for a more modern techno feel.
“Myself and that hippy Axl Rose weren’t seeing eye to eye at all,” confirmed Moudaber. “Rock and roll had pretty much had it’s day, I suggested we move towards a new techno sound but he just totally flipped out and started shiteing on about how ‘rock n’ roll will live forever’ and techno would ‘never take off’.”
“He told everyone he kicked me out of the band because of that but it wasn’t,” revealed Moudaber. “The real reason was the November rain incident, it was the first time he ever seen me with my hair down, he couldn’t handle the fact that I was a sixteen year old girl and that I’d been out performing him as a rock star since since I was six. I still don’t think he’s got over it.”
Other people who Nicole Moudaber has also been revealed as in the last two years include; Alice Cooper, Manchester United midfielder Marouane Fellaini and Simpson’s character Sideshow Bob.
