A nightclub owner is strictly ensuring that the music is cut off exactly at closing time just to be a bit of wanker, it has emerged.
56-year-old Paul Sampson, owner of the Houseienda in Bristol, makes DJs cut off their set precisely at closing time regardless of whether the crowd want the music played or if the DJ is still in the middle of a track.
“The time on the flyers says 4am closing time, not 4.05 or 4.10,” declared an unrepentant Paul, the fucker. “I don’t care how much the crowd wants to hear ‘one more tune’ at 4 bells the music stops, I don’t care what’s playing. It could be the national anthem or Darude Sandstorm, I don’t really care, it’s going off.”
“I actually do quite like dance music and would agree that cutting the music off before a set finishes is a bit unnecessary and dickish but I’m one of those contrarian control freak pricks that’ll do disagreeable things just to be a cunt.”
Many of the DJs who have worked under Paul’s regiment were effusive in their dislike for the club owner, with many labeling him a “wanker” for the times that he has cut out their music midflow once the club hits closing time.
“I was playing there about two years ago, had the hands in the air closing out my set with Sailor & I Turn Around, getting really into it with my eyes closed and everything,” recounted 25-year-old man trance DJ Simon Queenston. “People singing along and everything, perfect end to the night when the music just stops. Everybody on the dancefloor shouting up at me like I’m a fuck for switching the tunes off, shouting one more tune over and over again with a murderous look in their eyes.”
“I glance over at the sound tech guy and see Paul gesturing with his hand to his neck meaning ‘cut it off'” he continued. “The tune was just about to drop for the last time and everything, crowd were getting restless. In the end I just had to start applauding the crowd, as if it was my idea to end the night and not Paul’s.”
“Crowd were having none of it, started booing and throwing bottles of piss,” he added. “In the end Paul reactivated the sound and piped through Auld Lang Syne just to clear the floor, everyone thought it was me though, I lost two thousand Facebook fans over it.”
Research conducted has concluded that nightclub owners are feckless money grabbing whores who take sick pleasure in cutting music off at exactly the allotted time cause they’re dickheads who get off on being powerful and if given the chance to talk down to staff or punters would take it.
