It appears the Nina Kraviz is being proactive in her quest for Christmas presents this year after writing a thirteen page dossier to Santa Claus explaining how she has been good.
The Russian DJ is believed to be paranoid that one of Father Christmas’s spies may have observed her being an “obnoxious wench” during the first ten months of the year and has counteracted her behaviour by outlining all of her good points and promising to behave for the rest of the year.
“Nina is terrified that she’s going to be confronted with bags of soot and ashes on Christmas morning,” claimed a close friend of the DJ. “It’s her worst nightmare, she’s asked for a mirror, a selfie stick and the latest version of Photoshop so she can make memes of herself looking amazing and she’s really scared that Santa won’t deliver.”
“She’s taken a lot of time with this year’s Christmas letter so she wasn’t taking any chances with the traditional delivery method of putting it up the chimney, it was far to heavy for that anyway so she sent it this morning with registered post,” continued the unnamed source. “Now all she has to do is try to not be rude or obnoxious to anyone between now and Christmas, this might sound easy but Nina likes to leave her house everyday so it’s going to be difficult for her.”
“Nina definitely isn’t sorry for anything she has done that might be considered bad,” explained the DJ’s friend. “She’s not that kind of girl, instead she’s highlighting all of her good points and there are lots of them. She always finishes her dinner, she brushes her teeth at least three times a day and she never forgets to feed her goldfish, if I was Santa I’d be well impressed.”
Rumours that Nina’s Christmas dossier was ghostwritten by Ben Klock have been rubbished after it was revealed that the German DJ is a known Santa Claus denier.
