American President Barack Obama has once again reaffirmed his position as an Avicii fan by claiming that he will take a pill in Ibiza to show the Swedish DJ that he is cool.
Wunderground recently reported that Obama is set to do a season in Ibiza next summer after his second term as president ends and now it seems that the President will fully embrace the workers’ lifestyle by taking drugs to impress other people.
Obama, a self confessed Avicii fanboy, is hoping that taking pills will prove that he is “underground and edgy” and will help him gain acceptance to the Hey Brother producer’s crew.
“I’ve been thinking about ways to impress Avicii ever since I decided I’d take my black ass to Ibiza when my gig here in Washington is over,” revealed the President. “At first I was thinking I’d learn to speak Swedish, get a tattoo or something lame like that but then I heard that Mike Posner song about taking pills in Ibiza and how it impresses Avicii so I decided that’s what I’ll do.”
“I’ll take a pill, I’ll take coke, I’ll take ket, I’ll even bang up heroin straight into my veins if it’ll make Avicii think I’m cool,” claimed Obama during a meeting in the Oval Office. “I’ll become a junky and suck business men off in public toilets to get the money for my next fix if it gets me ten minutes in that wonderful man’s company.”
“I don’t know what it is about Avicii that draws me to him so much,” continued Obama. “It’s probably got something to do with my fascination with aliens and the fact that he looks like a cross between E.T. and the little alien out of Mac and Me but whatever it is I’m super excited about meeting him. When I was young I thought becoming the President of the United States of America was my dream but now I’ve done it I realised that wasn’t my dream at all, the real dream is that, someday, Avicii will call me his friend.”
According to sources close to the President, Obama plans on impressing other DJs in Ibiza with a number of stunts including; feeding ket to a seagull, battering a Moroccan and running through the West End naked.