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August 23, 2013
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Older Guy Inspires Outrage Among Partygoers At Hipster Rave

An older guy who was enjoying himself at a rave surrounded by teenage hipsters has left his fellow party goers “totes mortified” and “fearing for their futures.”

“He looked so out of place and embarrassing,” claimed one party goer,” I mean who still goes to raves in their 30s? It was like seeing your dad skateboarding…completely weird.”

Another person who attended the rave claimed, “The guy was off his face on drugs and sweating all over all the people who were trying to stand against the wall looking cool and mysterious. He totally ruined the vibe with his enthusiasm and lust for life. What a fucking loser.”

Reports indicate that the older man, who was dressed in a sweaty unbuttoned shirt and had a necktie wrapped around his head, had been out celebrating a promotion at his secure, adequately paid job when he showed up at the after hours rave.

It is believed that the majority of people who complained about his presence did so because they were faced with the dawning realisation that one day they won’t be young and hip anymore and may well end up being the embarrassing older person at a rave.

“It brought me face to face with my own mortality,” admitted one raver,” I literally stared into the eyes of death,” continued the poetry student somewhat over-dramatically.

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