The Organising Committee for the Olympic Games has today announced that dancing is to be considered for inclusion as a competitive sport at the 2020 games to be held in Tokyo.
The decision comes after lobbyists from disparate dancing troupes like Ravers Unite, We Love EDM and The Texan Line Dancing Confederacy, staged an all day dancing protest outside the committee’s Zurich headquarters. The protests turned violent after a senior committee member was accidentally kicked in the nose by a wayward break dancer.
Eye witness, Ursula Frei, spoke of the events, “I’ve never seen anything like it before, one minute there were hundreds of people dancing happily and the next it was total pandemonium.”
“I think some old guy got kicked in his face and the police responded aggressively with batons. It was really scary,” said the clearly distressed woman. “The dancers tried to fight back using break dance fighting, moon walking and an assortment of unpronounceable ballet steps but unfortunately for the crowd those are just dance moves and as a fighting method are totally ineffective against heavily armoured riot police,” continued Ursula. “That was about the time when things got ugly and they started throwing bricks and bottles.”
“When the bricks and bottles were gone all the ballroom dancers moved forward, the men literally started to throw the women at the police. I always thought dancers were a quiet bunch but not any more, I’m surprised no one was killed,” she said with relief.
The decision to consider dancing as an Olympic sport has been met with great excitement from all corners of the dancing industry. Professional dancer, and full time mincer, Louis Spence commented on the committee’s announcement, “Oh it’s just fabulous darling! It’s about time us dancers got a bit of recognition for what we do. I mean it’s not all about getting man handled by big sweaty guys, there’s an element of skill and fitness involved too,” he flamboyantly announced.
The news has also been well received within the EDM community. Dutch producer Hardwell commented earlier, “I’m delighted, hopefully the committee will decide that dancing is worthy of a place at the Olympics. I know it’ll most likely be break dancing or ballroom dancing if it is but could you just imagine people competitively raving at the Olympics, to my music, I’m so awesome,” said the self absorbed DJ.
One man who is not so happy about the news is French cheese ball David Guetta. The DJ, famously known for his irrational fear of dancing, known as chorophobia, is said to have cried for an hour straight after hearing the announcement.
