An out of touch dad of people is reportedly so “totes not on the ball” that he is still mistakenly calling dance music “rave” despite the term falling out of common usage some 15 years ago.
Harry Jenkins, a 48 year old mechanic, is reported to constantly refer to any music considered vaguely electronic to be “rave” music and to dismiss it as “crazy drug music listened to by junkies and wasters”.
“He’s not using it ironically, which’d been cool if he was, he just still calls it rave, he probably has a Myspace page and does mephedrone, he’s well out of touch,” claimed the dad in question’s son Michael. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He tars all electronic music with the same ‘rave’ brush without even trying to distinguish the between the complexities of genres like deep house or soulful house.”
“Even dispproving right wing journalists trying to disparage electronic music in the Daily Mail have the common sense to call it by its proper name,” he added. “Even if it is preceded by something like ‘evil clubber drug music.'”
Michael claims that as well as calling dance music “rave” his father also likes to make repeated insistences that “it all sounds the same” and that it’s “just noise going unce unce ounce over and over”.
Reports claim that whenever he talks about rave music he precedes the word rave with the word that to dismissively term all dance music, “that rave music”.
“You wouldn’t catch me listening to that rave music,” offered Harry. “It’s almost as bad as that hippy hop rapper music except with less guns and blowjobs and more street drugs, and probably blowjobs too.”
“All the discos nowadays play nothing but that rave music,” concluded Harry. “It’s like the sound of gunshots in a submarine crashing into a cliff. All bang bang bang, you’d go deaf listening to it, give me some Dolly Parton or Leonard Cohen instead of this rave.”
