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September 27, 2016
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Parents Constantly Posting Baby Photos To Facebook Assuming People Care

Teenage girl taking photograph of baby boy

Recently new parents, James and Michelle Harding, have uploaded more than one thousand photos of their “beautiful baby boy”, Zane, to Facebook and Instagram, under the assumption their friends are interested.

Described as “perfect” and “one in a million”, two week old Zane simply doesn’t have a clue how many people already resent his chubby cheeks and snotty nose, due to the relentless uploads of his every movement, which includes laying on his back, sleeping and being held up by an adult.

“He’s a gift from heaven,” claimed Michelle. “Usually babies are ugly but Zane definitely isn’t. He is actually really good looking. I’m not just saying it because he is mine and love is blind; but most kids look like Phil or Grant Mitchell for the first year. Zane looks more like a Leonardo da Vinci portrait of Cupid, firing his bow and arrow at everybody; making them all fall in love with his cuteness.”

Wunderground spoke with Leroy Fredrickson, who is a friend of both James and Michelle, “It’s as though they are the first people on earth to have a kid,” he moaned. “I get new parents are proud of their child; it’s cute, but do we need to see Zane in a hat, Zane in socks, Zane looking left, Zane looking right, Zane with Grandma, Zane with Aunt Sue, Zane with a teddy bear? No, we don’t.”

“Why do they feel the need to declare to Facebook how much they love their child? Surely, being his parents, that is a given. Can’t they concentrate on being good parents rather than telling the world about it? I think they’ve already made him his own Instagram account too; as if we haven’t seen enough photos of him eating and sleeping already. All babies are the same, end of.”

Nathon Woodhead

Nathon Woodhead

Too old to go to raves, too young to retire from them. Where does that leave me? Writing for Wunderground.

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