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June 12, 2014
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Paris Hilton’s Pet Dog Set For Amnesia Residency

Famed socialite and some time CDJ model Paris Hilton has today revealed that her dog, Peter Pan, is to be given its own residency at Ibiza’s exclusive Amnesia club.

The night, set to take place on Thursdays and entitled Bitches and Bones, will feature a mix of hip-hop, trap, techno and folk, genres which are believed to be favourites of the young pooch who will be performing the hands free no-headphone set directly from Paris’s doggy carrier.

Peter Pan isn’t expected to do much other than bark over the tunes and nod its diamond-encrusted-collared neck to some of the songs before pissing into a corner and slurping from a doggie bowl – which is almost exactly what Paris is expected to do for her set.

“This dog can do anything behind the decks, sit, roll over, give the paw…you name it…this dog has got mad skills,” gushed an excited Paris. “He’s one of the top five DJs’ pets in the world.”

An Amnesia spokesperson says that pets will be allowed on the premises for the night with a super cheap entrance fee of only €100 for animals and €150 for the human idiots who want to see it.

“We’re absolutely delighted to announce the booking of internationally known celebrity DJ pet, Paris Hilton’s chihuahua, Peter Pan,” read a statement from Amnesia. “This is the first time any club in the world has left the decks in the capable paws of one of the world’s most recognisable pets.”

“Paris’s dog is arguably more famous and a bigger draw than most of the DJs on the island,” claimed a spokesperson for Amnesia. “So what if he doesn’t have opposable thumbs, a basic understanding of rhythm and isn’t human, that hasn’t hindered Paris’s DJ career.”

“We’re sure the night is going to be a big success and will cement Amnesia’s status as that club what hires gimmicks,” concluded the statement which claims that the night is set to run every Thursday throughout July and August after which time Peter Pan is expected to direct Paris’s upcoming slasher flick, Blonde Moment.

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