A local party has been declared ruined after a bloke started to crush pills with the intent of snorting them and rekindling a buzz.
The party, held in a suburb of north Dublin, Ireland, is believed to have emptied in record time after local man Mick Walsh made approximately eight lines of luminous green powder out of his second last pill.
“There’s literally nothing worse than crushing pills and snorting them,” claimed house owner Gav Whelan, “and I’m including things like genocide, human trafficking and slave labour in that analogy, crushing pills is, one hundred and ten percent, the most terrible thing that has ever happened to the human race, no better way to ruin a fucking party.”
“I’m not even being overly dramatic when I say that. If I wanted to have a burning nostril, a pounding heart and an overwhelming sense of despair I’d go to my local zoo, snort a line of cayenne pepper and jump in the lion pit,” continued Whelan. “Thankfully I’m not actually into any of those things so I don’t feel the need to do them.”
Wunderground also spoke to pill crusher Walsh, “It was ten o’clock in the morning and there was either no drugs left or the cunts who had drugs were keeping them in their pockets so I thought I was being sound by crushing the pill up and racking out a few lines, I could have swallowed the whole bleeding thing myself but I wanted a few other heads to be on the buzz with me, d’ya know what I mean?”
“I knew it hadn’t gone down well when I passed a DVD box with seven lines on it around a room with ten people in it and got it back with six and a half lines still on it,” explained Walsh. “I know the luminous green powder looks more like something you’d see in an alien laboratory than something that’s going to give you a good buzz but, for fuck’s sake, desperate times call for desperate measures. Shortly after that a load of the boring pricks started to leave and your man who owns the gaff said the party was over. I had to go down the river and chill for a while, I was buzzing off my tits and still had six and a half lines to get into me.”
“I don’t feel sorry for ruining the party at all, I’d do it again in a flash if I had to.”
