A party in Northampton, England, has reportedly turned shit after a douchebag found a set of bongos hidden in the back of a bedroom cupboard.
Local knobhead, Peter Daily, made the annoying discovery while he was looking for somewhere safe to stash his bag of cans.
“I really love bongos, actually I really love anything that’s really loud and can annoy people,” claimed Daily earlier, “so when I opened the cupboard to hide my cans I couldn’t believe my luck. I knew it was going to be a great night, for me.”
“I took it out and started to play it straight away. I brought it down to the kitchen where there was a Dj playing,” continued Daily, known locally as Peter the Prick. “I could tell he was really into it because he kept turning the volume on the music up to build the atmosphere a bit and everytime he did I started hitting the drum even harder. It was pure class.”
According to house owner Steve Wilson, Daily “completely fucked” the atmosphere at the party, which was declared “shit” a short while after he had found the drum.
“Up until the point when the bongos came out everything was going really well, there was plenty of booze and drugs, we had some good music and a few birds had actually showed up,” explained Wilson. “Then that prick found the bongo, I don’t even know how he got in, I specifically hid it in the cupboard so no one would find it.”
“He was playing it in the kitchen where the tunes were so I managed to convince him to take it to out into the back garden and play with it,” continued Mr. Wilson. “But the neighbours complained so I had to let him back in. I thought he’d get bored off it after a while but he was still hitting it an hour later. He doesn’t even have any rhythm he was just randomly smacking it.”
“Eventually I just thought I’’ take the fucking thing off him,” revealed the host, “but it was too late by then, people were coming up to me and saying ‘you’re party’s shit’ and leaving. I should have kicked him out, only he had that really nice coke so I had no choice but to let him stay and keep the bongo.”
According to neighbours, the bongoing went on until approximately five o’clock the following afternoon, at which point Mr. Daily was seen leaving the house and approaching a parked car where he seemed to exchange cash for a small white parcel before returning to the house where the bongoing resumed and is still happening now.
