England’s favorite midget magician, Paul Daniels, has revealed that he is fond of the popular dissociative party drug ketamine but admits that he only likes a little bit and “not a lot”.
Daniels, most famous for punching ten thousand times above his weight with glamorous wife and assistant Debbie McGee, made the admission during a recent television interview.
“I’ve mellowed a lot as I’ve gotten older and I’ve even developed a bit of a recreational drug habit” revealed Daniels. “I’ve always loved making things disappear, it used to be rabbits, doves and watches in hats, boxes and handkerchiefs but now it’s pills, powders and liquids which magically go up my nose or down my throat never to be seen again.”
“I’ll take anything for the laugh as long as it’s not too mental,” continued the magician, whose most famous magic trick was making East Ender’s Pat Butcher look momentarily attractive in 1993. “That ketamine is a right laugh, everyone’s doing it these days, I like it but it’s very strong. I’m only a little fella so if any ever asks me do I want a bit I’ll always say ‘yes’ but when they ask me how much I’d like I always say ‘not a lot’ I’d end up like a vegetable or worse still Noel Edmonds if I took too much.”
“The first time I ever tried it I thought it was a bit of whizz and horsed a big huge line of it up my nose,” explained Daniels. “I spent the next two hours thinking I was playing The Royal Variety Show in the nip, where my main attraction was repeatedly pulling my own head out of my arse. Prince Philip thought it was brilliant but It was horrible for me, a bit like playing a show in Glasgow.”
Daniels has also revealed that he is planning on dusting off his deck of cards and returning to the magic circuit. However, instead of playing stage shows, the magician will do table tricks in the VIP section of nightclubs, which will come with the added bonus of getting him guest list for all his favorite clubs.
