A man who nobody can understand has left an entire room of people at a house party confused after saying “it’s peng and ting innit mandem”.
Eyewitness Steve Cooper claimed he “didn’t have a clue” what the man in question had said and presumed he was “either on drugs or foreign”.
“I was just sitting around enjoying a couple of drinks with a few friends when this group of lads came in and started being really loud,” explained Cooper earlier. “It was a bit weird, most of them seemed to be speaking English except for this one lad who must have been either off his head or foreign because, for the life of me, I couldn’t understand a fucking word he was saying.”
“He must have thought he was somewhere else, or around people who spoke his language, because he was having conversations like a normal person, just not making any sense,” continued Cooper. “At one stage he turned to me and asked me something or other, I just nodded my head, smiled and said ‘yes mate’.”
“The scary thing is I literally could have agreed to anything there,” he continued hesitantly. “He could have been saying ‘fancy popping upstairs for a quick nosh on my cock?’ and I wouldn’t have known any better. I’m a man of my word and as much as I wouldn’t have wanted to do it, if he had of produced his penis I would have been obliged to suck it, you really have to be careful of who you’re talking to these days.”
According to local “badman” Natty Blunt, Mr Cooper is “bait blud” and doesn’t understand how “mandem from ends speak innit”.
“We was just cotching in the kitchen and havin’ a well nang time,” claimed Blunt. “That bayden chief at the party was totally amping. I knew exactly what fam was chirpin. He’s a proper tourist round these ends, you get me? He needs to watch his self gettin’ vexed ‘round here.”
Although we were unable to understand a single word that Mr Blunt said, we presume he was highlighting the cultural difference between people who live in his neighbourhood and people like Mr Cooper, more on this as we get it.
