English DJ, Pete Tong, has vowed to adopt the “absolutely mad out of it raver” who was found amongst the rubbish at Glastonbury if his original owners can not be located.
The raver, who has been temporarily named Pete after he was seen trying to eat soil, was found still mad out of it on ecstasy in a tent by clean up staff after thousands of festival goers had left the Somerset site late on Monday evening.
Pete the mad out of it raver, has been living in one of the Eavis’ cow barns since his discovery where he has been fed a constant diet of water and banging techno. Now Tong, host of BBC Radio 1’s Essential Mix, has vowed to look after the mad out it raver by bringing him to London and giving him a “handy job as a junior producer” on his popular radio show.
As of today Pete the mad out of it raver has yet to come down off the cocktail of drugs he took, although, doctors are confident that their effects are starting to wane after he momentarily focused his eyes on a fixed position and muttered something about “his parents coming home soon”.
Tong, who was recently awarded an MBE, explained his decision, “I can’t believe that someone would leave a poor defenceless mad out of it raver behind at Glastonbury, it’s horrible, who knows what would of happened to him if the clean up staff hadn’t found him.”
“I’ll happily look after Pete the mad out of it raver but what we really want to do is reunite him with his owners,” added the DJ who played the BBC Introducing stage at the festival.
Avon and Somerset Constabulary have today ramped up their efforts to find Pete the mad out of it raver’s owners and have advised people that he may not have always been mad out of it and that his name is almost certainly not actually Pete.
