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August 9, 2013
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Poltergeist That Released Album Of White Noise Is Favourite To Win ‘Best Dance Album’ At Grammys

An album made by a poltergeist and consisting entirely of white noise has been rapturously received by music critics across the globe. The album, entitled Boo!!, is now set to pip Daft Punk to the Best Dance/Electronica album at this year’s prestigious Grammy Awards. The poltergeist, known only as Trevor, has said he’d been working on the album for several years after he became disillusioned with the afterlife.

“For a long time all I did was smash cutlery and move furniture around ever so slightly. It would never be anything big or obvious like turning the TV upside down or putting a bed into the bath,” eerily wailed Trevor. “But maybe I’d take the cushion from the armchair and replace it with the middle cushion from a matching three-cushion couch, so that when the owner came back and sat down they’d kind of adjust their position a bit and think to themselves ‘isn’t that strange’,” Trevor continued, hauntingly.

“But there comes a time when you need to grow up and stop standing at the end of someone’s bed as they sleep,” Trevor admitted. “I mean there’s only so many times you can make the air in one room fractionally cooler than the next room before it stops being funny.”

Divulging his creative process, Trevor, claimed that he was inspired to make the album after frightening an elderly woman to death by fiddling with the tuning knob on her wireless radio. “I thought to myself, ‘Trevor the ghost, why don’t you make a whole album of this as it’s quite effective at terrifying the living. And it sounds brilliant’.”

Trendsetting music website, Pitchfork, has declared the album “a lo-fi masterpiece that is chilling in its ghostly complexity. This album is sure to be the soundtrack to your winter nights.”

Speaking about his hopes for the album Trevor was typically modest, “Well I’m not expecting much or being too ambitious about how the album will perform if I’m honest, “explained Trevor. “I suppose if it strikes fear into the very core of everyone who hears it, then I’ll feel I’ve done my job.”

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