Buying the corrupt club currency of drinks-tokens has become more expensive since Brexit, claim many disgruntled Remain voters.
According to the Bank of England, the loosely regulated legal tender of drinks-tokens, used at numerous opportune and crooked festivals, is at an all time high against sterling.
One promoter told Wunderground, “Everyone hates buying drinks tokens. But since the pound has plummeted to levels not seen since 1985 it gives me all the more reason to charge north of a fiver for a warm can of Holsten Pills.”
“This is bullshit,” said Colin from Leicester, holding up a single piece of bright yellow paper he’d just paid £7 for. “Yesterday this would have got me a Jager-bomb. Today, coz it’s ‘day two’ of the festival, it’s worth nothing and I have to shell out for a bright-pink token instead. Why didn’t they warn us this pre-Brexit?”
“I only wanted a bottle of water,” wept Claire from Brighton, “but after queuing with actual pounds I was told my currency is no good and I’d have to exchange them at another queue, for this £6 plastic red coin.”
“Then after queuing for a third time to buy the water, they handed it to me without a fucking lid. I hope you’re happy now, Boris Johnson!”
“I’ve reserved a special place in hell for bar-workers who don’t allow people to sell back their unused tokens” confirmed Leave voter, Satan.
