Dozens of protesters have taken to the streets of Essex in a demonstration to put The Prodigy’s front man Keith Flint behind bars.
Despite Keith’s public confession of arson twenty years ago, authorities in the UK are still to convict the tattooed singer of any wrong doing, suggesting that the “evidence is weak” and they need more than the ”ramblings of a mad man” in order to charge him.
“The UK legal system is fucked,” shouted seventeen year old demonstrator, feminist, and avid vegan Nancy Poshtwat. “This bloke looks like the devil and went on camera preaching to the world about his life as a trouble starter. He refers to himself as a ‘punkin’ instigator’ and a ‘twisted fire starter’. What more do police need to put him away? We want justice.”
Another protester at the event, twenty two year old Hamish Jollypops, was in complete agreement with Nancy over what should happen to Flint, “The man is clearly an animal,” he said. “I’m not sure how old he claims to be but I am certain he was involved in the great fire of London in 1666. The authorities should also confiscate his passport as I bet he has some type of involvement in the devastating bush fires that happen in Australia. We’ve all seen CSI, we know technology these days can assist with cases from decades ago so let’s hope the British justice system pulls through and links him to what we know he is responsible for.”
Wunderground contacted Keith for comment, “There’s no evidence I was involved in any of the things they say, so until they can prove it was me, I’m going to go about my life,” confirmed a clearly rattled Keith. “In my defence, I was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder in the nineties, which means anything my alter-ego, Blowtorch McFlameThrower, done will probably be inadmissible in court anyway.”
