Electronic producer Darren Lambe is reportedly “devastated” after an unfortunate incident with his computer resulted in him accidentally deleting over a year’s worth of music.
The full casualty list is thought to include 4 completed tracks, 59 unfinished tracks, 5 riffs marked “funky” and a full boxset of the HBO smash hit Game of Thrones which was accidentally stored in the music folder.
“It’s over a years worth of material,” confided Darren’s roommate and friend Aidan Cooke. “He’d been working on his music for a few hours almost every day, he was quite excited about the direction his stuff was taking and felt he was finally starting to learn how to finish tracks as well as start them.”
The incident which saw the inconsolable Darren deleting his music is believed to have been the result of a porn-related delete that went horribly awry.
“Darren had started seeing a new girlfriend,” continued Aidan, “so he was keen to wipe the filth from his computer lest she accidentally stumble across it while using it to shop for groupons.”
“He thought he’d dropped everything onto a backup external drive but unfortunately the transfer didn’t work and almost 80% of the last year’s work was lost,” Aidan explained. “Now, anytime he even so much as looks at the computer he wells up.”
Aidan claims that Darren has been bedridden and depressed ever since the accidental delete only finding time to masturbate “for a semblance of normalcy” in between bouts of sobbing, but “even that is tarnished because if its association with what happened so he never finishes, instead he just sort of gives up and breaks into tears again, naked and half pumped”.
“It’s arguably more devastating than losing a loved one,” concluded Aidan. “At least with a dead loved one you know they’re gone forever and aren’t tortured by the niggling feeling that if you could only remember the main riff or chord sequence you could bring them back to life.”
