Real Life

Psytrance Fans To Have Annual Wash Before Festival Season Begins


Psytrance fans all over the world are bracing themselves for their annual wash ahead of this year’s festival season.

Every year, on the last Sunday in May, the psytrance community take to rivers, showers and baths to wash away the last year’s crust and celebrate the dawn of a new year and the festivals it brings.

“It’s kind of an unofficial psytrance new year,” claimed Barry “Psyclone” Smith, a spokesperson for the International Psycommunity. “The Christians have one, the Chinese have one, even the Ethiopians have one, and now the psytrance community have one. Hopefully, one day, the Psytrance New Year will be internationally recognised as a public holiday and all of our members will get a day off work, although, that doesn’t really matter as none of us have jobs anyway.”

Not to be confused with the homeless, who have limited access to running water and sometimes go for a number of days without washing, the psytrance community chose not to wash as a protest against modern society and see their annual wash as a symbolic gesture to the spirit of partying.

“Why should we conform to the costly moral standards set by corporations?” asked Psyclone. “They wouldn’t be telling you to go wash yourself every day if they weren’t trying to sell you some sort of soap. If you say people want to fall for their dirty tricks, that’s fine with us, but don’t expect us to, we have a few dirty tricks of our own and by tricks I mean clothes, bodies and hair.”

“If it were up to me I’d never wash,” added Psyclone. “But after a full year without washing, you’ll struggle to find a bus driver who’ll let you onto his bus and, without buses, it’s hard to get to festivals so all true psytrance fans will sacrifice their own morals for the greater good.”

If you know any psytrance fans and wish to help them celebrate their new year, donations of rolling tobacco and flagons of cider will be accepted at all psytrance parties between now and the end of the month.

To Top

Send this to friend