Reports coming from a party in London this weekend indicate that at one point after the nightclub two of the party attendees retired to a couch in a quiet room in the house and proceeded to have what witnesses have described as an “uninformed philosophical debate” for roughly three hours.
The two men, Alex and Kevin, acquaintances who had just that night had developed their relationship from the acquaintance to the friend level, were said to have originally gone into the room to “do a line” when they began talking at length about a range of political and philosophical topics.
“They were like Gore Vidal and Chris Hitchens,” claimed one witness, “except less articulate or informed and with more ecstasy, rolling of the eyes and gurning.”
“They were slurring their words and forgetting what it was they were saying for most of it,” added the witness.
The topics the two men were heard to discuss included “if they had kids how they would let them do all the drugs they wanted to but would explain the risks, how all politicians should, by law, have to smoke DMT before they take office so that they’d have a more sympathetic world view and how all humans are essentially the same”.
“They ranged from one topic to another with frightening ease,” said another witness. “Not because they were so well versed in them and could move seamlessly from one idea to another, but because they more often than not forgot what they were saying and just sort of drifted off aimlessly.”
The two men claim they have no memory of the intricate philosophical debate that they had remembering only that they “talked about films, music and football while sharing a few spliffs” but both now consider each other “bros” and are planning a night out soon where it is expected they’ll “do pills and talk shite” that they will then forget.
