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April 16, 2015
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Selling Out Is OK Because You Get Money & You Can’t Buy Stuff With Respect Anyway, Claims Axwell

Former Swedish House Mafia hairdo and one half of “professional” EDM group Axwell & Ingrosso, Sebastian Ingrosso, has today claimed that “selling out is cool, cause you get lots of money and you can’t buy stuff with respect anyway”.

The former underground darling and now EDM posterboy made the claim today at a corporate gig for Monsanto after he became flustered with peers admonishing him for selling out by making cheesy, by-the-numbers big room EDM instead of more interesting but less commercially viable music.

“Everyone gives selling out such a bad rep and I’m sick of it to be honest,” boomed an angry Axwell when several members of the audience began chanting ‘sell out’ during his set. “What’s so wrong with selling out?? I mean really. Sure I turn my back on my artistic integrity and prostitute the music I love for riches but c’mon, it’s for riches. It’s not like I just said ‘fuck dance music and everything it stands for’, for no reason. I got money out if it. And that’s what’s most important.”

Axwell claimed that if he had to choose between money and respect he’d choose money every time cause “with money you can buy stuff whereas with respect you just get universally loved and appreciated as a true artist by people who know what they’re talking about but for less money. Still a lot of money in fairness, but less than I get now”.

“I don’t mind pretending that I think the music I’m putting out is actually good and relevant because at the end of the day it’s easier than actually trying to be musically interesting and did I mention money,” he added.

“If you could buy stuff with respect then Aphex Twin could just walk into a speedboat store and say give me your fastest speedboat,” explained Axwell, who said that the existence of speedboat stores is actually a guarded secret only revealed to 1%er. “When they ask him if he wants to pay with cash or card he’ll say ‘no, I’m Aphex Twin, producer of seminal works like Drukqs and Selected Ambient Works, I’ll be paying with respect thanks.'”

“He’ll then just motor away into the sunset, being applauded for his contribution to music by everyone who crosses his path,” added Axwell. “But unfortunately respect isn’t a commodity that you can buy or sell like slaves or sex appeal. So if Aphex Twin walked into a store and tried to pay only using respect they’d probably call him a lank haired twat and throw him out.”

“And they’d be right, cause respect doesn’t buy anything, money does. Now excuse me, I’ve got to play another corporate at 4pm and then I’m meeting Calvin Harris for a money fight.”

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