Slightly Strange

Sesame Street To Introduce “Rat Addicted To Crack” Character

New Rat Character addicted to drugs

Producers of the popular children’s educational TV show Sesame Street have announced they are to introduce a new drug addict character to the show later this year.

Ricky the Rat, a crack addict from Fresno, California, is set to hit our screens this summer in an attempt to educate children about the dangers of drug use.

Wunderground spoke to Mitch Stockdale, one of the show’s scriptwriters, “It’s great, really, really great,” he insisted. “I’ve spent the last ten years writing crappy nonsense for stupid children and finally it’s paid off, things are going to get really edgy around here when Ricky the Rat finally makes his debut on the show.”

“It’s worked out well for me because I’ve actually developed a bit of a crack habit in recent years, it’s helped me cope with having to write this mind numbing shit every day,” he continued. “So I’ll be able to draw on my own experiences to write Ricky the Rat as a really believable character.”

“I was kind of hoping that the bosses would let me write him as a bit of a badass,” revealed Stockdale. “But they want him to be a bit pathetic, they want people to feel sorry for him and children to be scared of him, a bit like Kanye West. It turns out they’re actually trying to turn kids off crack, seems a bit stupid to me really, I think crack is awesome.”

Parent of three Mary Beaty believes the introduction of Ricky the Rat could be a terrible move for the show, “I’m really not sure about this at all,” she claimed. “Sesame Street is a nice neighbourhood and bringing drugs into it could be a big mistake. It’s slippery slope. Today it’s drugs, tomorrow prostitution, before we know it there’ll be turf wars and gang killings. I really don’t want my kids exposed to those sort of things.”

According to sources, President Trump has insisted the show also introduce a “Mexican dealer” who will sell drugs on the corner of Sesame Street, to help reinforce and project his own horrible opinions on the nation’s innocent youth.

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