A silent disco in East London has been forced to close by authorities after local residents put down their foie gras for one second and complained it was too loud and they couldn’t hear themselves read The Daily Mail.
Following a number of calls to the police at around midnight, officers arrived at the silent disco’s venue to tell them to “keep the noise down or get shut down,” continuing a string of club closures in the capital believed to be a Tory policy to eliminate the number of places where Boris Johnson can score cheap coke and get his cock out.
The silent disco’s event organiser told Wunderground that he tried explaining to the officers that “a silent disco couldn’t be turned down”, but police refused to accept his reasoning as a valid excuse and promptly pepper sprayed and handcuffed the man.
Residents who made the complaints reportedly moaned that “the sound of footsteps and laughter” was keeping them awake at night, while the odd empty beer can lining the street was “visually polluting”.
Sarah, who lives on the 40th floor of a luxury apartment 200 meters away from where the disco took place, said: “I could see crowd of people making their way to the disco. I wasn’t sure if they were making any noise, but I reported it to the police precautionarily.”
“People shouldn’t be allowed to meet in public places and make noise which could disturb other members of the public who have paid upwards of £200,000 for their 2 bedroom flats,” she declared.
The area’s local council have now received unprecedented support to introduce a ban on noise levels reaching above 70 decibels on weekend nights, in a bid to rid fun seekers from entering the area once and for all so that residents can enjoy the homogenized cloister they’ve created.
