A self proclaimed “banter expert” has claimed that “silly feminists” just don’t get lad culture and should spend more time “shaving their armpits” than giving out about what makes men tick.
Barry Shields, a Sun reader and football fan, believes there is nothing wrong with a bit of sexist or misogynistic fun at a woman’s expense and claims it’s all just “bants init”.
“Honestly I really don’t know why those feminists get their lovely lacy thongs in such a twist about laddish behaviour and culture,” explained the Nuts subscription holder. “What they need to realise is that when I wolf whistle at them or slap their bum I’m actually paying them a compliment. I’m basically just saying ‘aye sugartits cracking arse’ or ‘phwoar look at the rack on that’ so what’s the problem?”
“I think they should count themselves lucky that we’re objectifying them in the first place,” continued Shields, who believes Jay from the Inbetweeners would make an excellent Prime Minister some day. “Well obviously just the good looking ones, no one objectifies an ugly bird, that would be mental, like putting a poster of a Lada on your wall instead a Ferrari.”
“If feminist birds don’t like lad’s banter than all they have to do is not look at it,” reasoned Mr. Shields. “I get most of my bants off Facebook and the internet and there’s loads of different sites, they should just stick to websites about housework, baking, babies and kittens if they don’t want to be offended. Simples!”
“I bet most of those feminists are lesbos anyway,” he added insightfully. “They’re probably just dead jealous because me and all the top boys are pulling all the fit birds and all their left with are the butch, lumberjack shirt type. Get over it sweetheart, it’s your bed now go lie in it.”
According to local feminists, they’re not too bothered by the opinions of men like Mr. Shields’ as most grown ups can tell the difference between actual banter and the drivel spewed on the internet which has become known as lad culture.