Soap Bar Hash Almost Extinct Warns Expert
According to experts, soap bar hash numbers have reached an all time low and the drug has now been placed on the endangered drugs list.
Leading drug officials have claimed that the current decline in the number of bars of soap bar being produced could see the pillow shaped lumps of cannabis resin becoming completely extinct in the next five to ten years.
“This time twenty years ago there were over two million slabs of soap bar hash being produced in various countries in the Middle East and North Africa every week,” explained drugs expert Shaun Ryder. “Nowadays there’s only about one hundred thousand being made. That’s a reduction of ninety five percent in twenty years. This level of decline simply isn’t sustainable.”
“No one quite knows what has caused the sudden drop in numbers,” continued Ryder, who claims to have “eaten bars of hash like chocolate” during his time as the lead singer of the Happy Mondays. “It could be the loosening of international restrictions against marijuana, making it easy for people to buy high grade grass or it could just be because it’s not cool anymore, like baggy jeans or me.”
“Whatever it is something needs to be done about it before it’s too late,” he said seriously. “So the next time time you’re thinking about having a smoke, remember all of the tiny bits of scrap weed, pieces of plastic and clingfilm, stones, used car tyres and whatever other shit they put in soap bar before deciding what to buy.”
If you’d like to help the soap bar’s plight, please go to the most working class housing estate you know, ask anyone who sells the best quarters and then buy at least one. With your help the soap bar can once again be the world’s most popular hash.