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June 9, 2015
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Spilling Someone Else’s Coke Added To List Of Deadly Sins

Spilling someone else’s precious cocaine has been added to the list of deadly sins, it has emerged.

The decision was made collectively by coke users across the country after each recounted incidents when it has happened to them.

“It’s worse than sloth and greed put together,” explained Dave, who had his coke spilled just last weekend when a friend accidentally opened a door allowing a gust of coke-spilling air into the party. “Whenever it has happened to me I’ve felt all seven of the other sins simultaneously, which I think is what makes it so evil.”

“Even though I knew Paul spilled it by mistake I still harbour a simmering resentment towards him that’ll only be resolved when he gives me free cocaine back,” continued Dave. “Or allows me to spill some of his.”

Putting the bag back into your pocket upside down, accidentally spilling a can over on it or, sneezing, are all some of the ways in which coke can be spilled, according to experts.

“I’d have no problem never speaking to someone again, c’mon like I’m paying 10 euro per .1 of a gram, that’s not that much money but it’s mine,” Dave added. “I actually spilled my own one time and didn’t talk to myself for a week, I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror.”

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