We’re at a moment in time when there seems to be more DJs on the planet than swimmers in the load Paris Hilton swallowed to get her Amnesia residency. The growing number of genres and technological advances in equipment, along with pre-recorded sets and the total lack of a need for any talent has made it easier than ever for someone to declare themselves a DJ, Paris Hilton has a fucking residency in Amnesia (we don’t want to come across as Paris haters but we are!). There does however seem to be certain sets of blueprints that transcend all these factors meaning we’re seeing identical copies of DJs playing all over the place, here’s a suitably judgmental yet fond look at…Stereotypical DJs.
First up is the quiet, accomplished guy. This dude knows exactly what he’s doing, he just gets into the DJ box, plays his tunes, smiles, the crowd loves it and everyone is happy. This guy has most likely been around for a while, he probably played his first gig at an underground party in the suburbs of Manchester. Sasha is a DJ who fits this mould perfectly, he’s in good company in this group. Long may him and the rest of the quiet geniuses continue.
Next up is the techy, geeky dude. These guys are really good at what they do, they’ve obviously put in the hours in their bedrooms practicing on their many wonderful little contraptions, bending sounds into uniquely warped melodies and crescendos. Think James Zabiela and his epic work on the Pioneer EFX 1000. The Essential Mix he made based on the sci-fi movie, Moon, showcases both his musical talent and his obvious geeky roots. We like these guys very much, they’re constantly pushing the boundaries and moving the entire scene forward, keep up the good work.
Next on the list is the party animal. This guy just doesn’t give a single fuck. They’re traveling the world getting paid to do something they love and fuck it, they’re going to enjoy every minute of it. These DJs are usually really good fun and get a great atmosphere going with their enthusiasm about having a good time, Ricardo Villalobos is the father of party animal DJs, you can tell he really enjoys every show he plays. The only problem with the party animal is they’ll fuck up every once in a while and get so messy they wont be able to perform so going to see them can be a bit of a gamble. Either way we like these guys and nine times out of ten you’ll have a great time going to see them. More of the same please.
Last entry on our list is the Jester. These guys are basically musical clowns, performing for laughs at EDM events all over the world. They have very little talent or likability. They use pre-recorded set and have stupid props to distract people from the fact they are lacking any sort of depth or structure in the sets they play, massive build ups and bouncy bass drops don’t make up for the fact that it’s shit. Steve Aoki is the biggest jester that springs to mind. I mean when did DJing become about throwing cake and crowd surfing in an inflatable dingy? These guys are ruining the scene for all the credible DJs out there and we really do wish they would just fuck off!
Ricardo Villalobos…fucking mighty!!