It has emerged today that US performer Steve Aoki is quitting being an EDM DJ to join the cast of the World Wrestling Entertainment as a professional wrestler.
Steve, who has never wrestled before, is expected to undergo a training regime overseen by former wrestling star Shawn Michaels to prepare him for the physicality of the show which Aoki has said will involve a lot of “running, jumping and prancing for the audience…a lot like a typical Aoki show”.
Vince McMahon, known to be a big fan of predetermined soap opera-like pageantry, wanted to snap Steve up a few months ago and is said to be delighted that he’s finally landed his man after convincing the EDM star that “being a WWE wrestler isn’t too far removed from being an EDM DJ. They both need to be good actors used to performing a set of pre-decided moves in front of a believing audience of grown-up children”.
“It’s great to have Steve on board, he’s got all the attributes to be a top entertainer in the WWE,” gushed McMahon. “He knows how to make something fake look believable and he’s got an over the top on stage persona.”
Steve has said he’s delighted to get the chance to become a wrestler claiming he’s been a fan of “the bright lights and showmanship of professional wrestling” since he was a teenaged Bruce Lee fan.
“I’m delighted to be given this chance,” enthused Steve. “I really hope it can act as a showcase for my acting skills which I’ve honed over years of DJing performances.”
Rumours regarding Steve’s persona suggest that he will be a raver guy who “plays his own entrance music, sells drugs backstage to younger wrestlers and, rather unbelievably, throws cakes at audience members and rival wrestlers earning him the wrath of WWE enforcers The Shield”.
“I can’t wait for Steve to get started,” concluded Vince McMahon who says that Steve will make his debut later this year on Raw. “He’s the perfect fit for the WWE. Wrestling is just like EDM, it’s big, it’s brash, it’s populated by egotistical dickbags, it’s fake and it’s American.”
