America’s Gulf Coast was breathing a sigh of relief today after a tropical storm that had been threatening to form of the coast of Miami has been downgraded to “a lot of hot air”.
The storm, named locally as “Storm Aoki”, is believed to have “huffed and puffed” but is now fizzling out into nothing more than a warm zephyr.
“We thought that Aoki was going to be a really bad storm,” confirmed meteorologist Spencer Royce. “It turned out to be more of a load of annoying of hot air, like a fart in an elevator or someone’s disgusting breath on the back of your neck on a packed train.”
“There’ll certainly be no lasting damage caused by it,” continued Mr. Royce. “It’ll just make a lot of noise, possibly throw some light material around the place and then disappear without a trace, leaving no lasting legacy or memory having had little or no influence on the world at all.”
“Aoki is definitely the most forgettable thing to ever come out of the state of Florida.”
Stanly McCormack, of the International Storm Naming Association, claimed that the storm was named after the EDM superstar Steve Aoki.
“We’ve been having a lot of storms lately so naturally we’ve been running out of names to call them,” revealed MCCormack. “We’ve had to really think outside the box when it comes to coming up with suitable names for each weather system and there’s very few options left. This month we’ve already had Storm Tulip Gemima and Storm Fritzl so we’re pretty much scraping the bottom of the barrel with each new name.”
“Storm Aoki, was definitely named out of desperation,” he continued. “There’s no way we’d want to draw anymore attention to that lameo but we had to think up something quickly and one of our interns has really bad taste in music and suggested Aoki.”
“We ran with it because the only other suggestions were Storm Purple Cock Helmet and Storm Guetta, it was definitely the best of a bad bunch, it actually turned out to be quite fitting in the end. All it was, was a noisy, annoying, nuisance that nobody will remember and nobody wants to clean up after, just like the storm.”
