A forward thinking student nightclub in Leeds, England, has announced that they are to open a “Berghain style fingering area”.
Norman Fingleton, a promoter at Slut Nightclub, claims that a “finger banging area” in the club, based on Berghain’s infamous dark rooms, will help Slut become one of the countries, if not the world’s, most popular clubs.
“I’ve been to Berghain three or four times at this stage,” claimed Fingleton earlier. “I’ve never actually got in, even the time I wore my ‘if found please return to the pub’ t-shirt, I was sure that’d work, but I’ve seen the queues outside and I’ve heard the stories about the place so I know it must be good.”
“As far as I’m concerned clubs are all the same, they’re just big rooms, with a few flashing lights and a DJ where people go to spend money,” continued Fingleton. “So what it is that makes this Berghain place so special? It has to be the rooms where gay lads are allowed to bum and suck each other off.”
“We don’t have many gay lads coming around here, mostly because we’ve instructed the bouncers not to let them in, so we’ve decided a finger banging area is the best way to go,” explained the promoter. “Only instead of the room being dark, like it is in Berghain, it’ll be fully lit so other people can watch and film the girls getting fingered on their phones.”
“We’ll even be offering free cocktails to any girls who tag themselves getting fingered on Instagram.”
