A study published this afternoon has concluded that the girl who glanced at you for like a second on the dance floor this Saturday night “is definitely in love with you”.
“We’re not sure if it extends to all girls who smile at you or who you briefly interact with throughout an average day,” claimed the study. “Like the one who served you in the cafe earlier or the one who smiled at you on the train, but we can definitely confirm that preliminary tests indicate that the one you shared a moment with on the dance floor was definitely in love with you.”
“Unfortunately the study also revealed that you’ve probably missed your opportunity to be with her,” the report continued, “and that, because you didn’t take the initiative, she will most likely enter into a relationship with someone who you’d probably consider ‘a dick’, while you’re most likely destined to die alone without ever having loved at all.”
The study confirmed that it was the girl in the green top who you danced beside near the front and then smiled at again by the bar that was in love with you and that she was just waiting for you to approach her.
The study concluded by saying that “rather than telling your mate about the girl on the dancefloor giving you eyes” that you should have went over and spoken to her, but that because you didn’t pluck up the courage to pick up on her obvious interest, that you’ll never be able to track her down to see her again and that you’ll now probably torture yourself about “what could have been”.
