Peter McCarthy, a young Dublin man, has been branded as “posh” for drinking beer from a pint glass rather than a can at a recent party in a friend’s house.
Micka Wallace, a friend of the accused, explained the situation, “I don’t know what Peter was thinking, he came in and started pouring a can of Stella into a pint glass. I mean we were in Bally-fucking-fermot not the Ritz. He’s a poshy cunt so he is.”
“Then he started walking around the party talking about books and politics and all that sort of stupid shit, it was like talking to fucking Wikipedia,” he claimed. “Come to think of it he was always paying attention in school and I don’t think I’ve ever even seen him in a fight. Who does he think he is, the Tea Shock?” he asked.
“He definitely thinks he’s better than the rest us, it’s not like he’s never smoked hash through an apple down the back of the bus. The chap needs to remember where he came from,” explained Mr. Wallace, while inhaling an aerosol through a worn sock. “Cans were good enough for my grandfather, they were good enough for my Da and they’re definitely good enough for me,” he continued.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m an aspirational youngfella. Hopefully some day I’ll get onto social welfare and maybe even sell drugs, but I’m never going to pour cans into a glass, it’d make me look soft and I’ve a reputation as a hard bastard to think about,” he commented with both hands placed firmly down the front of his tracksuit bottoms.
Mr. McCarthy spoke in defense of his actions, “I don’t care what any of them idiots say, I was only putting my beer in a glass so I’d know which one was mine. Everyone else at the party was drinking the same cans and nobody knew whose were whose. When I was leaving there was about twenty full cans sitting on the table with no one drinking them. Them lads are muppets, I only hang around with them because they live on my road.”
Reports indicate that the party later ended in a mass brawl after numerous accusations of beer theft.
