Telltale Signs That Your Work Colleague Is A Raver

With the ever growing popularity of electronic music, there is naturally a knock on effect on the amount of people who go to dance music gigs and raves. For all you know, the person sitting at the desk next to you in work could have been at the very same rave as you over the weekend. While it’s probably not the best idea to come straight out and ask a colleague, “Are you a raver?” There are other signs that you can look out for throughout the working week, that will give away their weekend activities. Here’s some telltale signs that your work colleague is a raver.

The first telltale sign you need to look out for when identifying a work place raver, is whether or not they regularly miss work on Mondays. Monday absenteeism is the most obvious sign that someone is out getting on it every weekend. We all get sick once in a while but when someone has a twenty four hour bug or a case of chronic diarrhea every other Monday, it is safe to assume that this person is indeed a raver.

Tuesdays are by far the worst day of a raver’s week. You may have thought Monday would be as bad as it gets but every true raver knows Mondays usually pass quite easily. This is because you’ve either called in sick or you’re still slightly buzzing from the weekend. It’s only when Tuesday hits that you start to realise the colossal task the working week has laid in front of you. Look out for people who are in a weakened mental and physical state on Tuesday mornings. The chances that the bright eyed, enthusiastic, energetic, girl in marketing is a raver are quite slim. However, the guy who sits at his desk every Tuesday, staring through his computer screen, with an expression on his face blanker then the ‘We love David Guetta‘ section on this website, has probably been out raving all weekend.

Another way you can tell if a colleague is a raver, is by their answer to the question, “What did you do at the weekend?” Ask this question to a non raver, who thinks you’re also into the mundane, boring, stuff they like to do at the weekend, and they’ll give you a lengthy answer, filling you in on all the monotonous details. However ask this question to a raver, worried about giving away their secret identity, and they will replace the answer, “I went to a massive rave, took loads of drugs, stayed awake for forty eight hours and fell asleep in a bush” with “I went to see a DJ.” If you want to use this tactic to spot a raver you’re better of f leaving it until Wednesday when the raver has regained the power of human interaction.

Another telltale sign of a raver in your place of work is constant phone calls and text messages on Thursdays. The reason being; to become a proper raver you will need to take some sort of substances or narcotics to help you get through a prolonged period of rave. These can be purchased by using the ‘tic’ system offered by some drug dealers. This is a verbal agreement which sees their products handed over and the money paid at a later date. Thursday is a popular day for these transaction to be completed as it is often pay day and also gives the dealer a chance to get his books in order before the weekend.

The one thing that gives a raver away on Fridays is the speed at which they exit the work place. Look out for the person constantly checking their watch, nervously clicking a pen or with the inability to sit still for a period longer than five minutes. Screeching tires in the car park or someone rushing out the door so fast that they knock everyone in their path onto their ass, could easily be the result of a raver with a insatiable, vampire like lust for the weekend, finally getting a whiff of freedom that only a Friday can offer.