An English man who was heavily sedated with ketamine has claimed that the modified horse tranquilizer he was snorting was shit, while talking to a tree.
Peter Ormsby, a thirty year old holiday maker in Playa d’en Bossa, Ibiza, made the mistake of sniffing a “full bag” of the popular party drug, while boasting about how high his tolerance for it was.
Associates of Mr. Ormsby were believed to be in “convolutions of laughter” at the state their friend has managed to get himself into.
“Peter did have a pretty high tolerance to ket about four or five years ago,” claimed friend Nigel Winters. “But he stopped taking it when his daughter was born, I don’t think he realised that he would have to build the tolerance back up and he just started slamming it up his nose like a Henry hoover, or Daniella Westbrook at a relapse party, after a few minutes he was falling around the place. It was fucking hilarious.”
“We were down at Bora Bora beach and he sat himself down right next to one of the big palm trees and started having a full-blown conversation with it,” explained Mr. Winters. “We kept bringing him over more ket, because it was so funny and we didn’t want him to sober up, and he kept telling the tree how shit the ket around here was and that it didn’t have a patch on the ket he was getting in Bristol back in 2009.”
“Eventually he said his good buys to the tree, somehow managed to swap phone numbers and left to go visit his mate at the Jet apartments, which actually turned out to be a jellyfish in the sea,” chuckled Mr. Winters. “By the time the ket eventually wore off him he was covered head to toe in stings, it was fucking hilarious, then to top it all off we all had to piss on him to get rid of the stings. I’ve never seen someone so humiliated in all my life. Brilliant.”
Reports from Ibiza indicate that Mr. Ormsby spent the rest of his holiday locked up in his bedroom while the rest of his friends made jokes about him and posted videos of his misfortune of Facebook.
