A survey carried out by the International Tattoo Association claims that the neck is now the most popular place for tattoos among the world’s idiot population.
The study, which also claims the number of idiots on the earth has grown by a whopping 50% over the last ten years, saw 10,000 tattoo enthusiasts quizzed about everything from tattoos to cheese on toast in an attempt to reveal insights into their varying lives.
“There’s no doubt about it, the world is definitely a dumber place than it was this time ten years ago,” explained analyst Piper Mann. “When it comes to tattoos it’s quite easy to spot the idiots. They used to have stupid things tattooed on them, like partners names or political symbology, but now we’ve seen a clear shift from having stupid things tattooed on your body to having tattoos in stupid places, like the neck or the face.”
“In much the same way a child or stupid adult might think ‘oh I’ll pick that burning red hot piece of wood up with my bare hands’, an idiot is also likely to think it’s a good idea to get a tattoo on their neck,” continued the tattooless Miss Mann. “Not pausing to think of what it might look like in fifty years time when their neck dangles around their chest. The spider web or tribal design that once sat proudly two inches below your face will end up looking like a three year old kid with learning difficulties tried to write graffiti on your jowls.”
“These results aren’t claiming that everyone who has a tattoo on their neck is an idiot,” claimed the analyst, “We found a lot of very intelligent people with tattoos on their necks, but it just so happened that almost every idiot we interviewed either had a neck tattoo or was planning to get one so if you happen to be an intelligent person with a neck tattoo you should be warned that you are likely to be mistaken for an idiot in the future.”
According to experts, anyone trying to remove a neck tattoo with a cheese grater upon hearing this news because they think they are not an idiot would be better advised to keep their neck tattoo intact as they are, beyond all questionable doubt, an idiot.
