Following a statement released by the legal team of mobile app SnapChat, it has been revealed that there are only three females left on Earth who are yet to use the Flowery Crown filter.
The six page statement, highlighting the “difficulties females face in trying to stand out from the crowd”, revealed that the Flowery Crown filter has broken all sorts of records in becoming the most annoying and unoriginal internet craze since the SnapChat Gold filter two months prior.
“We were absolutely blown away by these statistics,” announced SnapChat CEO Evan Spiegel. “As an attempt to look unique and sassy, over three billion females used the filter which puts an imaginary crown of flowers on your head. It is unbelievable the sort of shit narcissists get up to these days. Do they think their SnapChat or Instagram followers care if they have a crown of flowers on their head? Of course they don’t. Nobody gives a shit – it’s been seen billions of times already, yet every female still went in for it.”
Wunderground asked Evan what the next step is for SnapChat and if the interest can be maintained, “First things first, we need to find these three bitches that still haven’t used the latest filter as I want a one hundred percent success rate on every filter we launch,” laughed Evan.
“I have a team of expert app and filter developers working on the next huge phenomenon. Girls all over the world loved a few flowers on their barnet. They also loved looking a bit gold – so next I think I will create an app which makes it appear you have a miniature David Guetta taking a massive shit on your head. How crazy would it be to think three billion women will be uploading photos of Guetta having a dump in their hair? God bless the female strive for perfection and God bless the human race.”