Trance superstar Tiesto has made the shocking announcement that he is to give up making music to become a minister.
The star, who recently married a couple in a cheesy Las Vegas ceremony, claims that the experience had a profound effect on him.
“So I’m standing there, admittedly slightly bored and perplexed as to how I ended up taking part in a promotional stunt that saw a musician marrying two people who I had never met before and just wishing I’d never agreed to do this when suddenly the bride walked in and I was blown away.”
“I couldn’t believe the guy was marrying this woman who was a 4 at best. I was shocked but then I saw how happy he was and I was humbled as I realised that she’s only a 4 for me, a superstar DJ, but she’s probably a 7 for him. When I made that realisation it affected me profoundly. Normal people aren’t like superstar DJs. They don’t travel around the world from party to party and sleep with a host of beautiful women.”
“When I watched them gazing at each other adoringly and sharing their mundance love I was humbled and I think at that point I felt the presence of God. In all my years as a trance musician I’ve never experienced anybody have a truly transcendental spiritual experience before, until this moment, when I watched those two average joes getting hitched.”
