Tiësto Removed From Stage After Accidentally Playing Trance

Dutch DJ Tiësto was last night removed from the decks at popular Miami nightclub, Mansion, after accidentally playing classic trance instead of commercial EDM because, according to the club, “it is a genre which doesn’t fit in with the club’s music policy which has been carefully selected and dictated by our VIP clientele”.

The incident took place about two thirds of the way through Tiësto’s run of the mill EDM set, which witnesses have described as “music” and “a medley of all the current big tracks played in sequence”, and is believed to have been caused by a mislabeled CD.

“Tiësto was absolutely smashing it,” claimed eye witness Jack Somers. “But then just after halfway through the set he played a track that emptied the dance floor. It sounded kind of beautiful and melodic, but everyone was totally bored by it, it definitely wasn’t EDM.”

“The security came in during the track and politely asked him to leave because the audience weren’t feeling the expansive trance track that he was playing, some had even begun booing, throwing away their glowsticks and eating their kandi in protest,” continued Jack. “There was no drop or big chainsaw synths in it and the melody just wasn’t basic and big room enough for me. I nearly spat out my champagne when I heard the track to be honest.”

“I like my EDM to fit a rudimentary drop-build-drop formula and this track just didn’t do that,” he added.

“You could see by Tiësto’s face that he knew he’d made a mistake in playing the track,” continued the 19 year old self confessed dance music expert. “He went willingly and took to the mic to apologise profusely which I thought was the least he could do for accidentally exposing those people to credible music.”

Reports claim that the track which Tiësto played is believed to be Sasha’s Xpander, a classic track of the trance genre and the type of track that Tiësto hasn’t been seen to play in about 5 or 6 years and one that the Dutch megastar had no intention of playing in his set of sub par commercial EDM.

“I’d just like to apologise to the people that came out. I’m truly sorry that I wasn’t able to spoon feed you the aural urine that you’re used to,” confessed Tiësto. “I stopped playing trance some years ago when I realised people were willing to pay me more if I just played popular EDM, but I must have mislabeled a track or something and when I thought I was playing a generic join the dots EDM record I actually played good old school trance music and for that I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

It is believed that, immediately after the show, Tiësto set about destroying his music collection in case he mistakenly plays anything good ever again “just to be on the safe side”.

The club released a brief statement confirming that Tiësto was removed from stage for not adhering to the club’s music policy.

“We’ve got a strict policy here at Mansion that we only play music that has been warmly approved by our clientele. They’re the ones paying into the club and buying the $1,000 bottles of champagne so their happiness and willingness to splurge recklessly is the most important thing for us. If they don’t like the music being played then they’re less likely to throw money around and so when it comes to that the DJ just has to change, we don’t care who it is.”