Following last week’s Westminster vote to sanction a campaign of airstrikes in Syria, it would appear that Capital FM DJ Tim Westwood is no longer the only cunt in England dropping bombs.
Westwood, best known for having an accent unique only to him and thinking he’s black, has been dropping musical “bombs” on British radio waves for more than two decades and, up until recently, had been considered “the only cunt in England still dropping bombs”.
Wunderground spoke to the Capital FM presenter earlier today, “It feels great to finally have someone else dropping some bombs, I’ve been flying solo for the last few years and, to be honest, I’ve been hoping someone else would drop a few to take the spotlight away from me for awhile.”
“I’ve been getting quite a bit of stick for some of the bombs I’ve been dropping but I guess haters gonna hate. Yo!” he said awkwardly. “Ever since we finished liberating Afghanistan, by blowing the absolute shit out of it, I’ve been the only cunt on the scene but now, thankfully, I’ve got a bit of company again.”
“This time it’s Syria that needs to be freed,” he continued, while trying to hide his poshness with a Tory’s version of a “street accent”. “Hopefully they take a lot of freeing and the bombs will be getting dropped for the foreseeable future. I think the Prime Minister, or Davey C. as I call him, just sold them a load of weapons to make it a fair fight and drag the arse out of a bit so it should last for at least a few months.”
“They’re lucky to have us going over there and destroying tyranny and infrastructure and roads and bridges and hospitals and schools and lives,” explained Westwood, whose political views seem to come from the back of a crisp packet or The Sun. “And once we’re finished they’ll have no excuses to be coming over here and taking our jobs and becoming functioning members of society so everyone’s a winner. Init blud.”
According to experts, cunt numbers in England have soared in recent days as supporters of Cameron’s war of terror make themselves known through narrow minded and racist Facebook status updates.
