In a bid to save her faltering reputation Tulisa Contostavlos has announced that she is to open an alcohol free cola bar called Tulisa’s Got Coke.
The former X Factor judge sees the alcohol free hangout spot as the ideal way to regain the British public’s trust and undo the damage caused during her arduous trial, where she was cleared of masterminding a large cocaine deal on the grounds of being set up by “nasty hack cunt from The Sun”, earlier this year.
Tulisa spoke about her upcoming project with Wunderground today, “I really want to put the last year behind me and start of fresh with exciting new projects like this, I cannot wait to have the doors open to the public.”
“It’s no secret that I love coke,” claimed Tulisa. “I’ve been practically addicted to the stuff ever since I was old enough to speak and I’ve always loved to share it with other people too. Apparently, I used to walk around the streets asking random people ‘do you want some coke?’ or just telling them ‘I can get you coke if you want’ and now I’m going to be sharing and selling coke professionally, it’s a bit of a dream come true to be honest.”
“I’ve decided to create a safe environment where everyone, men, women, children, even Dappy can come and have as much coke as they like without being judged.”
Tulisa also explained that she plans on personally serving every customer that comes into her cola bar claiming, “there’ll never be a time I won’t be able to get you coke, even if it’s four thirty in the morning I’ll be able to get you all the coke you need.”
Unfortunately at this point the interview was prematurely cut short after we asked Tulisa if she planned on selling Pepsi in her cola bar, with the N-Dubz star storming off and shouting, “What kind of evil bitch do you take me for? Pepsi! Are you for real? You lot are sick fucking cunts you are!”
