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June 6, 2014
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UKIP Members Urged To Listen To Music Made By “Coloureds”

Leader of the U.K. Independence Party has today told his party colleagues to try to appear less racist to constituents by listening to genres of music made by “coloureds”.

Some of the genres that UKIP have outlined as being made by black people include blues, jazz, hip hop, soul, funk, techno, house and gospel, which Mr. Farage claims is a million miles away from the musical preferences of a typical UKIP member which is believed to be English folk songs, racist chanting and the audiobook of Hitler’s Mein Kampf set to the music of Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyrie.

“We think if we can get our members to listen to music made by the darkies then we can win some of their lot over to our side and won’t have to send em back to Africa,” claimed Mr. Farage seen her imagining his daughter coming home with an immigrant. “I’m not a racist, my butler is black, I drink black coffee, hell even some of my favourite racial epithets are about black people.”

“They might be black, and probably benefit sponging thieves,” he added, “but at least they’re not Muslims.”

Mr. Farage went on to say that he thought that the program has so far been a massive success claiming that a lot of the UKIP members were most enamoured with gangster rap.

However it is believed that their fascination with the genre merely amounted to them being allowed to say the word “nigger” over and over guilt free, something which they normally can only say after having a quick look around to make sure no black people or cameras are around.

Mr. Farage claimed that they wanted to try and focus only on British black music like dubstep UK garage citing the fact that “at least they were born here” claiming that he doesn’t want “foreign musicians coming over here and stealing our benefits, jobs and women”.

“I think that with this initative we can be at least seen to be accommodating to the non-Whites,” he concluded. “Then once we get into power we can start kicking them back to where they came from before we block off the channel tunnel, brick by British manufactured, brick.”

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