Russian fuhrer Vladimir Putin has claimed that he is planning the country’s biggest ever New Year’s celebrations and hopes to have Massive Attack as the headlining act.
Putin is believed to be a “huge fan” of the English duo and believes having them at his New Year’s fiesta will “really get the world’s attention”.
“Vlad is one of the biggest Massive Attack fans in the world,” claimed Putin’s personal DJ Ten Walls. “He’s not just the President of Russia, he’s also the President of the Official Russian Massive Attack Fan Club and, to be honest with you, I’m not really sure which title he’s prouder of.”
“He totally idolises those blokes, not in a gay way or anything because he’s totally not like that, no matter what pictures you’ve seen of him,” continued Walls, real name Mario Basanov. “Usually he’s not really into music that isn’t Russian but he’d do anything for Massive attack, he’s such a fanboy.”
Wunderground managed to speak Mr Putin earlier today, “Massive Attack would be the perfect Christmas present for me,” he claimed. “So if any of my friends are listening, Kim Jong Un and Ahmadinejad I’m looking at you, they’ll know exactly what to get me.”
Other bands set to play at Russia’s New Year’s Eve celebrations include Gun N’ Roses, Megadeth and Take That.